krypted November 24th, 2015
Posted In: personal
You’re having a party. Or waiting to give candy to trick-or-treaters. And you want to throw something on in the background. Check out this list and I’m sure you’ll find something that matches your tastes and what you want to portray to whatever contingent you’re hosting!
The Lost Boys: Thow shall not kill is still in my head from last night. Seriously, my favorite movie to throw on in the background when throwing a Halloween party. You can do this one with or without audio. It’s not so scary, it moves quick enough, and it can be watched for just a few seconds or minutes without someone becoming engrossed and not socializing. Regrettably not available on Netflix.
The Crow: An instant classic. A love story. A ghost story. So many things are kinda’ creepy and kinda’ awesome about this movie, including an amazing soundtrack. And it’s available on Netflix.
Underworld: Vampires vs werewolves. Kate Beckinsdale. Guns. Leather. Did I mention vampires vs werewolves? Available on Netflix. Basically I’d watch the whole series again. Worth it.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Got no neck. Sweet transvestites. Rocky. Time warp. Satanic Mechanic. OMG, and Meatloaf. And Brad. And Janet. Wow. Not available on Netflix.
Warm Bodies: What goes on in the head of a zombie as he’s eating brains? All kinds of zombie goodness. Including… zombies falling in love! Not on Netflix, but worth a watch for sure, with or without a party.
Edward Scissorhands: Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, a guy with scissors for hands. Winona Ryder. Not sure what else you could ask for in a movie. Great visuals to have on in the background at a party. A great plot. Yup. If only it were on Netflix… :-/
The Nightmare Before Christmas: The rare halloween/Christmas crossover movie. Animated Tim Burton. This was an instant classic in 1993 and definitelypersists. Great story and great background party movie. Available on Netflix!
John Dies at the End: Newcomer to my list. This is part of a new breed of quirky, cool movie. Heavy on plot and story. Heavy on super-cool. Love this flick. Muted in the background or front and center when people say “WTF is that?” Strange movie. Dark humor. Sci-fi-ish. Perfect for me, and on Netflix.
Zombieland: Another newcomer to the list, Zombieland has Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg), a Natural Born Killer, and, um, zombies. And it’s in a theme park. What more could you really want out of a movie? Well, it could be on Netflix, I guess. Cause it’s not…
Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Queen of the Damned, or Interview with a Vampire: Three choices for your mainstream vampire evening. Gary Oldman made Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Interview with a Vampire came under a lot of criticism. Queen of the Damned came under more criticism. I liked all 3 of these movies for the most part (although the Anne Rice ones could have turned out better, given how insanely popular her books were at the time. None of them are on Netflix. Which is a shame. Aaliyah was awesome in Queen of the Damned. The rest of the movie was ok.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil: Take a good chainsaw movie and a good undead movie, toss them in a blender add spin in some My Name is Earl and some Larry the Cable Guy. Sound funny? It should! Plus it’s just a cool flick! Luckily, this redneck horrorish (although notsomuch, really) movie is on Netflix. Enjoy.
Halloween: The classic. Some of these are on Netflix. All of them are pretty much the same thing. Not bad for background movie. Shows a little age these days, compared to modern slasher flicks. But there’s a certain creepiness in the graininess of the originals.
Friday the 13th: Jason was a really popular name once. Once. I’ve been to Crystal Lake. Once. Regrettably, I didn’t get to see an Aliens vs. Jason kind of moment. Or at least Predator vs. Jason. What I really wanted was Aliens vs. Predator vs. Jason vs. the Bush family. Pretty sure Jason could take ’em all in arena style combat. But don’t overlook that Bush clan. Pretty sure that whole thing can’t happen ’cause he’s Jeb’s separated-at-birth-twin. Not on Netflix. But still hoping they’ll bust out with the whole movie thing that’s alive and well in my head.
The Devil’s Rejects: Rob Zombie is, um, twisted. It’s not on Netflix, but it’s all kinds of Halloween gory.
Saw: I don’t like these kinds of movies. I prefer my horror/slasher flicks to be totally impossible and therefore not in the least bit scary. But on mute it’s kinda’ fun to turn into a drinking game (what isn’t, amiright?)… And it was so popular it became a franchise! All 5 of which are on Netflix.
Hocus Pocus: I’m not a huge fan of any of these actresses. But together they make a pretty good team. It’s not on Netflix. But a Corpse Bride is, even if that didn’t make the list…
Scary Movie: I saw this in the theater. It was pretty bad. It’s funny how sometimes trying really hard to be funny and make fun of things just really ends up making fun of you. While the original dumb movie isn’t on Netflix, parts 3 and 5 of the franchise are. You can thank Scream that this exists in the first place. For background at a party kind of movie though, it’s pretty fun. And like many of the movies on this list (and in my life in general) it’s easy to turn into a drinking game.
Shaun of the Dead: I’m gonna’ go ahead and call this Shaun of the Dead at World’s End, cause that’s stringing together two movie titles that might as well be one. I recommend both. Because they’re fun. And funny. And repetitive. But fun anyway. I do not recommend watching Nick Frost dance. His Salsa is better than mine though, so not sure I should say that or not… World’s End is not on Netflix, but Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (which was good despite having the 40 year old virgin in it) is, so I’d watch that. Shaun of the Dead is not on Netflix, but Cockneys vs. Zombies is, so I’d probably just move on to other parts of the list or pick up Shaun of the Dead on iTunes… Or just stream the whole series of The Walking Dead.
Beetlejuice: Recently someone said on Slack that if you say krypted 3 times, that I’d show up. They were right. I did. Beetlejuice is a classic. It’s not on Netflix. But the Burbs is. And they’re kinda’ similar in a way. Or not. You decide… Either way I’m guessing Michael Keaton had to kick the obvious massive amounts of cocaine he was doing when making Beetlejuice in order to be able to play Batman. Speaking of Batman, if you haven’t seen Gotham yet, you should check it out. Sometimes when they talk about their feelings on the show instead of shooting people, it makes me want to stab myself in the eye. But it’s pretty good compared to most of the other stuff out there…
The Addams Family: Christina Ricci was cute back then. A huge cast. A huge remake. All the trappings of big box office. But it somehow came off ok. Just campy enough. Not too campy. Unlike Jumanji.
Psycho: Insert any Hitchcock flick here. They’re all wonderful and weird and created a whole new kind of movie. I’d also insert the movie about him in there as well…
Troll 2: The cult classic. The worst movie ever. The best drinking game ever. The weirdest documentary on it ever. Actually, not the weirdest documentary. Terrible effects for the whole franchise. The movies aren’t connected. I’d just grab Leprechaun instead. Except Leprechaun in the Hood, which is straight up racist. But hey, any of these will work to keep your TV with obviously fake effects.
The Evil Dead: Sometimes it’s all about having a fistful of boomstick. Or a chainsaw for a hand. This is probably the best background movie to a Halloween party that there is. It’s overly campy, but barely in a way that’s trying to be funny. It’s just classic. It’s not on Netflix, but Babadook is, if that’s a must.
Hellraiser: I always loved Pinhead. He’s a man after my own heart. I hated it when they made too many of these, jumped the shark, and wrecked the franchise. But that’s what the proverbial they do… Either way, lots of weird images in this movie, it’s on Netflix, and the first one actually had a little bit of a plot. And it was made in an era where things were actually scary. And I have the puzzle box in my office. Yup. One of these days I’ll solve it…
Donnie Darko: An instant cult classic. If you haven’t seen it, you have to. It’s kinda’ slow and not scary enough for a silent background flick at a party, but a great movie to throw on in the background anyway. Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal (kinda’ put Jake Gyllenhaal on the map as a real actor, IMHO), Drew Barrymore, Patrick Swayze. How can you go wrong… I’m still kinda’ confused about S.Darko. But that’s a whole other story (literally). Great Halloween costume if you need one. Not on Netflix.
Night of the Living Dead: Original gore. Not on Netflix. But ZNation is. Not that you should watch it…
Poltergeist: I’m pretty glad Craig T. Nelson isn’t my dad. But I wish he was my Coach! Spielberg. Another dimension accessible through the closet. ectoplasm. A beast. The kid in the TV. I mean, seriously, this screwed me up royally as a small child. Which explains a lot if you think about it…
The Twilight Zone: Yup, the original. A classic. The original series is on Netflix. Not the movie. The updated series isn’t probably worth spending too much time on…
Scream: An instant classic in the 90s, this movie probably did more to revive the slasher genre than anything else. And guess what, it’s available on Netflix. If you haven’t seen it, wait ’till you see all the stars in it…
Ghostbusters: Not available for streaming on Netflix. But funny. And classic. And timeless. The Keymaster. Seriously. Slimer. I ain’t afraid of no ghost. Venkman was so awesome he got a Java debugger named after him. That’s pretty big stuff right there! The cartoon sucked.
Young Frankenstein: Or blazing saddles. But this one’s black and white. And funny in a different way (slapsticky). Not that Netflix has either…
Carrie: Not on Netflix. Sissy Spacek at her best. She won all kinds of awards of other movies. But when she gets that blood rage, she was obviously method acting when she went all telekinetic on Travolta. Holy buckets, I didn’t realize she could do that. No wonder they gave her awards. They didn’t want her hurling knives at them. Not that she didn’t deserve the awards. No really…
The Shining: Seriously though, the creepy kids, the creepy dad. Ghosts. Isolation. An amazing movie. Not that Netflix agrees that it’s amazing since it’s not available for streaming. But Silence of the Lambs is. And that’s close enough.
The Bride of Frankenstein: Great background movie. Black and white. Not on Netflix. But Frankenstein’s Army is. Not that you should watch it. It was bad. Yes, I watched it. Don’t make fun.
Scared Shrekless: Not on Netflix, but Dreamworks’ Spooky Stories is.
Monster High: Those monster teenagers in the cartoons that my daughter loves got their own longer feature. Check out Ghouls Rule, Fright On, Boo York, or Haunted, all on Netflix, and all sure to make the squirts squeal.
Spooky Buddies: Puppies, costumes, talking dogs, and Halloweeeeeeen. All the things a kid will find themselves giggly over after gorging on massive quantities of chocolate. Have fun with whatever tomorrow brings!
Casper: A cute cartoony ghost. While the movie and original cartoons aren’t on Netflix, the Scare School series is!
Frankenweenie: Unavailable on Netflix. But sweet, cute, and only a tiny big scary (according to the age of course – mine had me stop it for a little ).
American Psycho: Both streamable via Netflix. The second one shouldn’t be. But the first one is a great little movie.
The Labyrinth: Available on Netflix. Not scary. Fun. And David Bowie!
Sleepy Hollow: Available on Netflix. I’m not sure why a headless horseman is creepy. Oh wait. It’s because he’s got no head… And he kills people.
From Dusk Till Dawn: Available on Netflix. Clooney. Tarantino. Vampires. Drug deals gone bad. A follow-up with Johnny Depp. Harvey Keitel. Gore.
Little Shop of Horrors: Not on Netflix. A musical. Rick Moranis. Man-eating plants. 50’s/80’s kitsch.
Curse of Chucky, Bride of Chucky, and Chucky Eats Pizza (currently slated for 2018 – or not): Some on Netflix.
Children of the Corn: Actually creepy. And on Netflix. You could actually throw all the other Stephen Kings in here as well, with Pet Cemetery, It, Insomnia, etc. What I really want is the Gunslinger series made into movies by Ridley Scott circa his days doing Blade Runner. Slower, grittier. Meaner. Yes, androids dream of electric dark towers. Boom. Huge potential franchise film industry friends who I know are reading this. Write it down before you pass out…
Rosemary’s Baby: What is it about movies with creepy kids? On Netflix.
The Witches of Eastwick: The witches betray Jack Nicholson. He’s so bad in this movie. I take a lot of my own management style from him. Wait, no, I really don’t. Welllll…. No, really. Cher, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer. This was a huge movie at the time. And still kinda’ works. Just wait, hair will be that big again. Soon.
A Nightmare on Elmstreet: Freedy Frickin’ Krueger. And Johnny Depp. I think Depp is the most common actor on this whole list. Not sure what that says…
krypted October 30th, 2015
Posted In: personal
I can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait…
krypted October 25th, 2015
Posted In: personal
Recently I’ve read a lot of things about the attacks against Sony. I’ve read that they’re nothing more than extortion attempts by hackers that probably live in their parents basements (based on the fact that the initial demands didn’t mention North Korea at all). I’ve read they were orchestrated by China by people who felt North Korea was being picked on and couldn’t stand up for themselves. I’ve read highly unconvincing reports from the FBI that they were orchestrated by North Korea. No one really knows. I can send traffic to servers from anywhere in the world. Anyone can anonymize their web traffic as easily as using a ToR plug-in with Firefox. I’ve also spoken to friends at Sony that told me that they’re concerned about the future viability of Sony due to the business impacts of these attacks. I’ve also spoken with people at other studios freaking out about not wanting to “be the next Sony.”
But in all of it, there’s something kicking in the back of my head. You see, if someone tried to blackmail me, I’d go to the press (or government) and allow the public to judge me for whatever it is, not cave to demands that are only likely to recur. Not giving into extortion demands is the right thing to do. If someone threatened the safety of people to go to a movie, I’d pull it as well, so that’s the right thing to do as well. There have been enough shootings in theaters and while financially potentially devastating it’s not worth the loss of a single human life to show The Interview in theaters. Of course, now that the attackers have backed off their stance, The Interview will be shown in hundreds of theaters. And it will likely be viewed online by millions of people over the next few days. And if this was carried out by North Korea, they couldn’t visit all of our homes to pull it (although the awful remake of Red Dawn by MGM might indicate differently).
I believe that the good, American thing to do is show our support to Sony for all the brain candy they’ve given us in the past. More than that, our support for doing what’s right. And what’s more capitalistic of us than spending $6 on a movie (other than spending more)? What’s better for Sony than to make a little money? In America, we tend to root for underdogs. We love Rocky (which btw cost less than a million to make and brought in a breathtaking $225M – 1:225 ROI there). We wanted Rudy to score a touchdown for the Irish (TriStar – part of Sony). We practiced our kicks like the Karate Kid (Columbia Pictures – part of Sony). We watched Jerry Maguire (TriStar – part of Sony again) even though we couldn’t stand Tom Cruise and rooted for the guy who risked it all to do the right thing (Money, baby). We threw up in our mouth a little when we watched Dodgeball (Fox but a fun movie anyways). We adore Gandhi (Columbia – again part of Sony) because it won an Oscar and taught us the story of one of the greatest men of all time. We loved Charlie Sheen when he was Winning in Major League (Mirage). And we loved Kick-Ass (Lions Gate), one of the unlikeliest heros of all.
Sony made Bond great again. Sony brought us Spiderman to the big screen. Sony told us about The Social Network (and were still allowed to have Facebook accounts. Sony gave us Eat Pray Love. Sony killed zombies awesome sauce in Zombieland. Sony gave us Superbad. Sony taught us a history lesson with The King’s Speech. Sony brought The Da Vinci Code to the big screen. Sony made a great movie in the Lords of Dogtown. Sony brought us Hell Boy, Adaptation (as a writer, a movie I love), Ali, Black Hawk Down and countless other movies. Some great, some not. That’s the game.
Now, we have a chance to do a very small part by helping Sony escape financial ruin. And yes, they make more movies that suck than are awesome. Because that’s what all studios do. And yes, the film industry seems like a bunch of rich people being silly sometimes. But there are real people that work there. Normal people. With boys and girls and installations at burning man. Some of the best people I know. And they do great work. And sometimes the studio makes brilliant movies. And whether this was spearheaded (yes, bad pun on spear phishing) by a dictator with a bad fade, the remaining communist hardliners in China, another studio or something else, it’s up to the market to dictate the outcome. That’s capitalism. ‘Merica
PS – It’s hilarious.
krypted December 26th, 2014