Tiny Deathstars of Foulness

The football season is basically over for me. The University of Georgia was a good five yards from playing for the national title, but we won our bowl game. And the Vikings are now out of the playoffs having been crushed by the Packers while Christian Ponder was out. The time around New Years is always my favorite football time of the year. I end up watching a lot of football. It’s the best time of the year to see teams from different conferences play each other who normally maybe don’t. And it’s the time of the year that the sportscasters are so busy at work, they don’t really think about what they say before they say it sometimes. Football is always full of terms that sound dirty given the right circumstance, but Bowl season is the best time of the year. And this year, I wrote some down. So here’s my list of 30 football sayings that sounded dirty (and maybe they are or maybe they aren’t!) in no particular order:
  1. “He trusts his own skills so much, sometimes he tries to squeeze it into too tight a spot”
  2. “Just shove it right in that seam”
  3. “It’s all about the penetration”
  4. “That’s the second time he’s gone all the way tonight”
  5. “Sometimes you just have to pound it in there”
  6. “Quest for the ball”
  7. “The straight man just couldn’t get to the ball in time”
  8. “He pump fakes and then puts one where only the receiver could get to it”
  9. “The way this front four penetrates”
  10. “He’s got the best hands in college football”
  11. “You have to fight for every inch”
  12. “Desperately looking to score”
  13. “Crystal balls are forever”
  14. “The way they squeeze the tight end in there”
  15. “Keep him away from the ball”
  16. “When you put eight men in the box against these guys, you’re gonna’ run into problems”
  17. “The things they can stuff into that kind of space is amazing”
  18. “And he scores on the end around”
  19. “He’s going deep… and it popped right out”
  20. “He thought he got it off, but it came right back in his face”
  21. “And they get him from behind”
  22. “Another illegal block in the back”
  23. “That’s the first illegal touching of the night”
  24. “They sure are scoring easy tonight”
  25. “When you’re under a 300 pound center that’s bound to happen”
  26. “And the backfield is in motion”
  27. “He just beats his man to the ball”
  28. “The slot man just couldn’t get there in time”
  29. “I’m sure he’ll be coming out early”
  30. “He sees the hole and gets right up in there”
  31. “He can just be so explosive when he puts his mind to it”
  32. “It just squirted right out of there”
  33. “When there’s a pile of 10 or 11 guys sweaty you just don’t want to be on bottom”
  34. “Ya, he came ready to play tonight!”
  35. “Sometimes you just have to stay in one position”

January 6th, 2013

Posted In: Football

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